Copyright Juliana Francis 2008)

Julie, just how old are you to be writing about these real life issues that our hypocritical society condones in the closet, but condemns in the public? I am in my 50s, fantasying about a junior worker in our company, who wouldn’t be, more or less in her mid-twenties. This lady is slim, not pretty at all, but she got me growing turgid for her. She does not have a great body, but I am dying just to bang her.

I am not married, due to medical problems and not into any relationship at the moment. I have tried talking to her, but she rejected me. My life revolves around home and office. I don’t like patronizing whore.   There’s another prettier and highly educated lady who wants me and does not hide her feelings, yet I dislike her. I rather prefer the ugly ‘village’ girl. Am I going mad or what? Why do men feel this way?

The above is a rough reconstruction of a text message I received last week from a fan. He begged me not to publish his text, but I feel others may be going through same anxiety and it would only be fitting to tackle the problem once.

Anyway, I hope I protected his identity? If not please, I hope he would let me know!

Let me quickly tell you that what you’re feeling does not only plague the male gender. Even we as ladies had, at one time or another fallen under the devilish clutches of sexual chemistry.

I once found myself in the same situation when I was an undergraduate.

He was too young for me, too dull for me, too brilliant for me and definitely not tall and muscular enough for me!

But what did I do? My stupid hormones completely took over and you should have seen me panting after this guy like a dog in heat.


From what I deciphered from your text, it seemed to be you’re half way in love with this babe and you don’t even know it!

There’s a thin line between sexual desire and love, which is why you will find a guy or babe in love, wanting to bang their partners at every opportunity.

Most times, you find yourself attracted sexually to a babe or guy before beginning to see other nicer things about the person.

Sexual chemistry is the devil!

This is not to say however, that sex and love go hand in hand together. Like I said last week, sometimes, all you want is to bang the guy or babe and get it over with!

Sometimes, you may even stupidly imagine yourself in Love with the person, but after bouts of marathon bedmantics, you wake up sluggishly from your sex induced sleep to ask yourself, “Just what the heck did I find attractive in this babe/ guy.”

Most times what we feel and think is love, is really infatuation. We should be smart enough to know the difference. But if we confuse them, then it is only human.

When we desire somebody, it has nothing to do with educational background or beauty. And this is why I suspect strongly that you may be half way in love with this ‘village girl.’ Love cuts across social status and educational qualifications.

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